On Wednesday, Caroline woke up out of her sleep crying in pain - the worst pain we’ve seen her in since she was admitted to the ICU in 2018. Nerve pain is an unfortunate (but expected) side effect of the antibody therapy that can come and go at any point. She’s always experienced nerve pain during each cycle, but it's been manageable with her continuous Dilaudid infusion. However, this "extra" nerve pain was extreme and came out of nowhere…literally waking her up in the middle of the night. Her team worked quickly and diligently to get the pain under control, but it took a while to get her comfortable. It was beyond excruciating to witness her agony without being able to do anything, and we can only imagine the pain she felt.
Besides the physical pain, Caroline was in true emotional pain this week. This cycle came on the heels of her two additional inpatient stays for Sapovirus and RSV. She didn’t really get a chance to recharge and do “normal” things in between the two cycles, which really took a toll on her mental health. One major difference between Caroline going through treatment this time around vs. the first time, is her awareness of what she's "missing out on" socially. This is such a fun time of year for kids, and missing so many Christmas parties and events had her crying A LOT. Knowing her friends were having fun at school while she was at the hospital laying in pain had her asking some un-answerable questions: “why is this happening again?;” “why isn’t life fair?.” Her spirit was broken this cycle, and we’re praying she gets some solace in the days ahead, even though we can’t go back in time to let her experience all the missed Christmas fun things, or answer her hard questions. This is one cycle we will all be processing long after.
Caroline's next cycle is scheduled for 1/3/22, so barring anything happening in between, we’re hoping to be able to spend the next 2 weeks at home creating some Christmas magic for our family.
Thank you to everyone who sent us UberEats gift cards…they are a huge help because Caroline won’t eat any of the hospital food, and we still aren't allowed visitors.
Thank you so much for the continued prayers - specifically for her comfort and peace.
Caroline was having trouble breathing...the X-Ray showed "third space fluid" in her chest (Lasix and Oxygen to the rescue).
Is there anything we can do to help cheer her up??ReplyDelete
Caroline, you are the strongest person I know. Thinking of you and praying for you, sweet girl.ReplyDelete
I'm so sorry it has been such a rough time for her.....and all of you. It is good that she verbalizes her sadness and questions rather than hold it all inside. There's no place like home so hopefully that will help. Keep reminding her how loved she is.........by so many people. You are all in my prayers.ReplyDelete
Sending love and hugs and prayersReplyDelete
I too wish I had the answers for Caroline. Please let her know that she is in many ways a hero and the strongest person I know. I'm so glad you get to be home for Christmas. Merry Christmas.ReplyDelete
Caroline and Lantz family - we are so incredibly sorry to hear the struggle you're experiencing through this latest round. I can see why this all seems so unfair. Why this is happening is a big mystery ... one I'm not sure we can ever truly understand. One thing I can see through it all, is your life and strength have meant so much to so many. I wonder how many people have been inspired by witnessing your strength. For our family, I can say you've been an amazing inspiration to us and we do pray/hope for healthy days ahead ... as soon as possible!! Our Lord is always with us ... I truly believe this. And He is with you and your family through all of this. That never changes.ReplyDelete
We pray for healing, both physically and mentally. You are an incredible fighter, Caroline. Keep pushing forward, one step at a time.
Please do let us know if there is anything at all we can do to support you. Anything. Much love, Almonte's in Florida.
Just waiting for this nightmare to be over and hear she is healthy once more. Prayers.ReplyDelete
What we our family do to help and encourage Caroline? We ♥️ her and want her to know hiw much we miss her at school!ReplyDelete
I know round 10 was so hard for you but just like in boxing rounds , the end of the fight is when your tired and you have to dig down deep to get through. You , Caroline , are a fighter !! Although this season has been so hard on you , your fight has inspired so many, myself included. I am so proud of you and I’m so happy you are home with your family. You are in my prayers daily. 🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️🌈🌈🌈ReplyDelete
Sending hugs, love, and prayers from Heaven Can Wait Rescue and Sanctuary!!!ReplyDelete
This is heartbreaking. My daily prayers continue for your sweet girl, her devoted brother, your husband, you and your extended family. May the peace of Christ envelop Caroline and renew her spirit. 🙏🏼ReplyDelete